Truffle Shuffle
December 5th, 2007 posted by Bender Rodríguez
nice amourous piece from wine.woot.com
Darling, when I saw these delicious treats, naturally I thought of you. ‘How come,’ you ask? Oh, precious, you do have the funniest way with words! Look, it’s obvious: First of all, they’re delectably sweet, just like you. Yet their sweetness is balanced by complexity, just like yours.
Second, they’re presented with the utmost stylishness. Their packaging is, in a word, beautiful. And I know how you value style. Why, you wouldn’t dream of even taking the trash out without full makeup and a coordinated ensemble. What’s that, gumdrop? Yes, out. It goes out. You know, when the wastebaskets are full. Where did you think it—OK, bad example. You wouldn’t think of taking the trash out at all. But my point is—oh, forget it. Moving on.
Third: Like you, these scrumptious morsels have a fiscal prudence about them. Why, the Wall Street Journal itself rated them “Best Overall” and “Best Value” back in February—even at a much higher price than this! I knew someone with your rare subway-token-sucking prowess would appreciate that.
Also, they’re “truffles!” Now I know they aren’t the kind of truffle that pigs hunt for in the woods, but—forgive me—sometimes I imagine you as one. Particularly when you're out after work at Murphy’s, with all those porcine layabouts sniffing and pawing at you!
Finally, just like you, my dear, each of these decadent little goodies is liquid-filled with premium California wines: Cabernet, Port, Champagne and Chardonnay. Speaking of which, you might have left me a glassful, jeeze.
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