Gruntle Enterprise

Although I concede the fact that Lennon-McCartney cannot be held accountable for the rise in the use of the word "got" in colloquial English over the past 50 years, creating a piece of art that reinforces the deployment of this rhetorical equivalent of duct tape has only served to undermine the very foundation of the beautiful language.

We have all heard it in everyday speech, on the metro, at the pub, and on the playground where such ineloquent utterances can be forgiven, but more frequently, daily I should add and on numerous occasions, you can hear this syntactic structure decorating the oral stylings of news presenters on NPR, and less frequently, but still present, on the BBC. You even see it use in print, brandied about by even the most respected of journalists, scholars and experts in their fields.

Now, I would argue that using, for example, "got to" in place of "must" or "have to" might be perfectly acceptable. The Britons are quite fond of using it on a colloquial level, and would account for most of the instances of the word "got" heard on the BBC. Therefore, to say, "I've got to finish this missive on the socio-economic impact of micro finance on the Amarya people in the Andean Plateau region of Bolivia before I can go out to the pub", would be perfectly acceptable in normal, everyday conversation.

As a corollary, I find the use of got in the following situations simply atrocious:

"I got to meet astronauts, and I got to drive out to see the first shuttle landing in the desert."

I suspect that folks find it easier to use "got" in place of the proper verb or syntactical structure, especially when improvising on the spot as we do in conversation. But when you hear it spewing forth time and time again on NPR and related radio programs, I simply wonder what has happened to our system of education in the United States.

I must admit, however, that I include myself in amongst the addicts. I first began to recognize this phenomenon when I was learning Spanish. I realized that many of the Spanish phrases with which I had trouble in daily use were translations of English structures where I habitually used "got" in place of the proper English. So I began to force myself to use proper rhetorical structures instead of their colloquial equivalents when speaking. I still do so. I may sound like a snooty professor holding lecture, but it is easier for me as someone who must speak two languages and did not learn the second from childhood.

Unfortunately, now I have become one of those NPR snobs who cringe when they hear someone use the verb "to lay" or "to lie" improperly, or dispise the most hilarious practice of verbing ("Beer me eh"), who feel compelled to write in to alert the NPR staff of the most benign infraction simply to demonstrate their obvious superiority. I myself am afraid to pronounce the word "nuclear" for fear of accidentally sounding like President Bush.

I like to think that my cause is more just and more relevant, that it will in the end bring enlightenment to our most arrogant and self righteous of people, that it will help to alleviate our exaggerated sense of entitlement, and above all will return common sense back to the masses.

It is a dream I have.

Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha.

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