Gruntle Enterprise

While walking down the street one day, John McCain is hit by a truck 
and dies.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to Heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems 
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, 
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says McCain. 'I've got the experience."

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is 
have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose 
where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I'm supposed to be in Heaven,' he says.

'I'm sorry, Senator McCain, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts the senator to the elevator, and he 
goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and McCain finds himself 
in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse, 
and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians 
who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, 
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while 
getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, 
and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy 
who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a 
good time that before John McCain realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator 
rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens. St. Peter is 
waiting for him and says. 'Now it's time to visit Heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls 
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, singing, and feeding 
each other. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 
hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now 
choose your eternity.'

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would 
never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I 
think I would be better off in Hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and McCain goes down, down, 
down to Hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open. John McCain finds himself in the 
middle of a barren, hot land covered with the stench of garbage, 
pollutants, and radioactive waste.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and 
putting it in black bags as more trash and pollution fall from above.

The Devil comes over and puts his arm around John's shoulder.

'I don't understand,' McCain stammers. 'Yesterday I was here and there 
was a golf course and clubhouse. We ate lobster and caviar, drank 
champagne, and danced, and we had a great time. Now there's just a 
wasteland of death, and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were 
campaigning...

Today you voted.